Wake up. Go go go. We need breakfast, make lunch – pb&j for one, pasta for the other, salami for the third, pull out cloths, let’s brush teeth, quick breakfast for me, ok I’ll share my cereal, let’s go, brush teeth, we did, ok, you want more waffle? Ok. No you don’t have to brush teeth again. No, it’s fine you can eat it, we have to be fast. I said it’s ok! Shoes on, get your lunch boxes, out we go. Why aren’t your shoes on? Go put your shoes on! Dirty diaper. Damn, quick change quick change. No you can’t bring that. You’ll lose it. Let’s just – ok bring it. Ok ok, we’re good. Shoes on? Triple knot ok. Tickle your leg, what? Tickle your leg, what? I’m the champ! Get up fool! Off my back scoundrel! Where’s your bag? Got it good. What do you have for lunch? Pb&j, I know, yay! Out we go here we go here we go. Divide and conquer – I’ll take Kai. In seat up you go. Big boy. Drive Kai to nursery school. On time, it’s good it’s good. Turn on a little sports radio, NFL draft, basketball playoffs, good deal good deal. Gonna be productive. Pull into parking spot right up front licking peanut butter off my thumb nail with style because I am the man. I am….That was poo from changing Kai’s diaper.
Fuck. Me.
Damn. I laughed hard at this. I don’t know how you do it sir.
Oh, the comedy magic makes it all worthwhile.
Uh, huh….you’re the real man, for sure.
Well, yes! You are the man!!! Totally laughing at you…I mean with you, right now.