Armando Galarraga threw a perfect game for the Detroit Tigers a week ago. Only 20 perfect games have been thrown in the 100 plus year history of baseball. He threw it, but it’ll never be in the books because Jim Joyce, the first base umpire, blew a call and called a runner safe when he was clearly out – what would’ve been the third out of the ninth inning.
But Armando Galarraga and Jim Joyce did more for baseball and for their own legacy in the past week than they ever could have had the call been correct and the perfect game gone in the record books. They did it with class and leadership through adversity. It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you handle it. Out of defeat they crafted victory.
I’ve tried to pass that lesson along to the boys often, but, truth be told, it’s a reminder to me at least as much as it is a lesson for them. I want to be a living example of that mantra. I really want this, and it’s not easy. It seems to be the exact opposite of how I’d so often reacted as long as I can remember. Even as a ten year old kid, fishing with my dad, I can remember getting my line tangled, throwing my pole on the ground and stomping on it furiously. “That temper’s going to get you in trouble one day” my dad would say on more than one occasion. I don’t know where that temper originated, but I do know I was never aware of it, or aware of being ashamed of it, until I met Mickie. It was then that I started seeing the foolishness in my reactions when things went wrong. The weakness in it, frankly. I wasn’t a problem solver. Wasn’t a leader. Still, it took a long time before I started to really try to move away from those patterns. There is a palpable power in anger, in aggression. But it’s a destructive power, it builds nothing and erodes everything it touches, including the self. It draws no inspiration and earns false respect.
It’s been a long process, but I’ve improved a little. I’m not perfect, far from it. I’m not where I want to be, THE example for my boys. But I’m closer and I have to keep trying. Luckily I have Mickie, and she is such an asset that I want to celebrate her skill and leadership publicly. As important as it is to be an example for the boys, my reflection in Mickie’s eyes is just as essential and deeply defining.
This post was inspired by running over my laptop with the car today. Noooope, not kidding. Yeah…I know…turns out it’s easier than you’d think. But, everything works perfectly….wiiiiith an external monitor attached to replace the destroyed one. Heh. Kudos to Apple, heck of a machine, this is simply the latest in a line of abuse. And big love to Mick for turning my attention from being pissed to problem solving. It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you handle it. Out of defeat may we always craft victory.
My dear son-in-law, I am passing this one on to friends. So true and so inspiring.
Thank you Jerry. I can definitely appreciate this post vis-a-vis my own relationships right now.
AJ! Again, you make me laugh and cry. I applaud your appreciation of Mickie. And your journey with anger. I, too, am working on patience and although difficult, it’s so rewarding when it works. Thank-you to my kids for making me realize what’s really important.